"Murphy's Laws of Technology" and other humorous items


S

sushob

Entrepreneurial Teen
Murphy's Laws of Technology

Law # 1: You can never tell which way the train went by looking at the track.

Law # 2: Logic is a systematic method of coming to the wrong conclusion with confidence.

Law # 3: Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.

Law # 4: If builders built buildings the way programmers wrote programs, then the first woodpecker that came along would destroy civilization.

Law # 5: An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he/she knows absolutely everything about nothing.

Law # 6: Tell a man there are 300 billion stars in the universe, and he'll believe you. Tell him a bench has wet paint on it, and he'll have to touch to be sure.

Law # 7: All great discoveries are made by mistake.

Law # 8: Nothing ever gets built on schedule or within budget.

Law # 9: All's well that ends... period.

Law # 10: A meeting is an event at which minutes are kept and hours are lost.

Law # 11: The first myth of management is that it exists.

Law # 12: A failure will not appear until a unit has passed final inspection.

Law # 13: New systems generate new problems.

Law # 14: To err is human, but to really foul things up requires a computer.

Law # 15: We don't know one-millionth of one percent about anything.

Law # 16: Any given program, when running, is obsolete.

Law # 17: A computer can make as many mistakes in two seconds as 20 men working 20 years.

www.funnycleanjokes.com
 
Working for the Railroad

Billy Bob wanted a job as a signalman on the railways.

He was told to meet the inspector at the signal box. The inspector asked, "What would you do if you realized that two trains were heading for each other on the same track?"

Billy Bob replied, "I would switch the points for one of the
trains."

"What if the lever broke?" asked the inspector.

"Then I'd dash down out of the signal box," said Billy Bob, "and I'd use the manual lever over there."

"What if that had been struck by lightning?"

"Then," Billy Bob continued, "I'd run back into the signal box and phone the next signal box."

"What if the phone was busy?"

"Well in that case," persevered Billy Bob, "I'd rush down out of the box and use the public emergency phone at the level crossing up there."

"What if that was vandalized?"

"Oh, well then I'd run into town and go get my Uncle Lester."

This puzzled the inspector, so he asked, "Why would you do that?"

Billy Bob answered, "Well, Uncle Lester ain't never seen a train wreck!"

www.funnycleanjokes.com
 
Great posts Nate, although I kind of resent LAW 9 in the first post :D ( making fun of my signature eh!) :)
Cheers Willis
 
CBCNSfan said:
Great posts Nate, although I kind of resent LAW 9 in the first post :D ( making fun of my signature eh!) :)
Cheers Willis
Click to expand...
:D I wondered if you would say anything about that :D
 
I'd guess the last two are photoshopped.... all the rest look like typical beauracratese or such.

I've seen the McD's sign, or it's brother, in reality.
 
I got this in an e-mail today-

----------------
COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that our government can
track a cow born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where
she sleeps in the state of Washington. And they tracked her calves to their
stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering
around our country. Maybe we should give them all a cow.



CONSTITUTION
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq. Why don't we just
give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it's worked
for over 200 years and we're not using it anymore.



TEN COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments in a Courthouse!
You cannot post "Thou Shalt Not Steal," "Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery" and
"Thou Shall Not Lie" in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians!
It creates a hostile work environment!
 
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