morning all... brain kicked in with the 2:30a pee run, and hasn't stopped.
Our barometric pressure is on a rollercoaster, so I'm waking up with weather headaches. Time for a Diet Dr. P and an ibuprofen to check that.
Book is locked in for premier this Saturday.
Not sure what to do until then?
I have another book to write, but not feeling it yet. May just refresh myself on the impending plot and let it roll around the synapses for a day.
Going to go introspective for a time. If you don't want to read mental health stuff, skip the rest of the post.
Daughter (33 year-old) recently got diagnosed with AuDHD. That's a combo of both high-functioning autism and ADHD. It wasn't in the psych manuals until 2015. It came about when some smart folks realized that some of their patients in counseling that didn't quite meet the criteria for either, had both and their internal conflicts were masking the other. Since both conditions tend to be genetically shared, I started reading up on the traits. Yep, Yep, Yep, Yep, Yep, Yep, Yep, Yep! I was checking all the boxes too.
A lot of my past behaviors, burnout, melt-downs, etc, are in a clearer focus after seeing the interactions. Really eye opening.
An author friend of mine and I started talking about AuDHD back in Nov at an author conference. She'd been diagnosed late in life after her marriage fell apart and she started counseling. We were comparing notes on the Clifton Strengths personality stuff that we like to use to figure out how to best work in the author business. After we shared our top 10, she suggested I look into it.
I shrugged it off... but now the daughter's been going to counseling for general life stuff and got diagnosed. So I started looking into the issues.
And after watching a bunch of videos from professionals in the field, and nodding along, I knew that I've been in burnout for the past few years. So I picked up a book on AuDHD burnout because it was checking a lot of behavioral boxes. More Yep, Yep, Yep, Yep as I read the traits, and how the burnout happens then continues to recycle because I wasn't seeing the cycle. I thought I was coming out of it, then overdid, and started it all over.
Part of that was in the political realm (nuff said). Fortunately, now I just laugh at that area.
The other part was in the social interactions, mostly through the gaming scene. I wanted to show off all the toy soldiers I was painting, and get the social interactions. But there wasn't an organized scene for the games I wanted to paint and play. So I organized them, and painted, and organized them, and painted, and ugh! Why am I still the organizer? Burnout!
A few months later: I'd start organizing again, register for a tourney, and then cancel the tourney because I dreaded the social interaction and competition... burnout.
Somewhere in there, I realized that Model Railroading was right there in front of me, with the right conditions.
1. I didn't have to organize a darn thing except my hobby bench
2. I could still hobby. Scenery and painting little toy people! (and zombies)
3. I didn't need to attend competitions to participate... RPMs and Train Shows are about learning, not competing. I compete with myself to get better. That's it.
4. No time pressures, no deadlines. Work on it when I want, take breaks when I need to.
Model Railroading. I wonder how many more neurodivergent people are in the hobby?
/Mental Health retrospection over
researchautism.org
