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Maytag "Danged Agitator"
Collards is green,
my dog's name is Blue
and I'm so lucky
to have a sweet thang like you.

Yore hair is like cornsilk
a-flapping in the breeze.
Softer than Blue's
and without all them fleas.

You move like the bass,
which excite me in May.
You ain't got no scales
but I luv you anyway.

Yo're as satisfy'n as okry
jist a-fry'n in the pan.
Yo're as fragrant as "snuff"
right out of the can.

You have some'a yore teeth,
for which I am proud;
I hold my head high
when we're in a crowd.

On special occasions
when you shave under yore arms,
well, I'm in hawg heaven,
and awed by yore charms.

Still them fellers at work
they all want to know,
what I did to deserve
such a purdy, young doe.

Like a good roll of duct tape
yo're there fer yore man,
to patch up life's troubles
and fix what you can.

Yo're as cute as a junebug
a-buzzin' overhead.
You ain't mean like those far ants
I found in my bed.

Cut from the best cloth
like a plaid flannel shirt,
you spark up my life more
than a fresh load of dirt.

When you hold me real tight
like a padded gunrack,
my life is complete;
Ain't nuttin' I lack.

Yore complexion, it's perfection,
like the best vinyl sidin'.
despite all the years,
yore age, it keeps hidin'.

Me 'n' you's like a Moon Pie
with a RC cold drank,
we go together
like a skunk goes with stank.

Some men, they buy chocolate
for Valentine's Day;
They git it at Wal-Mart,
it's romantic that way.

Some men git roses
on that special day
from the cooler at Kroger.
That's impressive," I say.

Some men buy fine diamonds
from a flea market booth.
"Diamonds are forever,"
they explain, suave and couth.

But for this man, honey,
these just won't do.
Cause yo're too special,
you sweet thang you.

I got you a gift,
without taste nor odor,
More useful than diamonds...
it's a new troll'n motor!!


House Mother, Cheerleader
Arghhhhhhh! If The Husband reads this, I'm prob'ly gettin' a new golf club! (And I haven't played golf since 1961!)


Hahahaha! Man I am going to copy this and give it to the boss lady. Maybe change the gift to a new 'injun with noise':D

(probably get my face slapped to the back of my head:eek: )


Registered Member
Staff member
Well perhaps this one would be best posted here in complement
Aye, brings a tear ta me eye ev ' ry
time I reads it, by! Ya jus' cain't git
no mushier than that!!!
~ Willis :D


This is love!
Newfie Valentine Fer Me Wife...

I writes ta say I loves ya by!
'Cause I don't say it very much.
Everytime I tries ta cuddle ya,

I tried ta be more gentle,
Took me rubbers off outside.
When I tells ya where I was last nite,
Ya always tinks I lied.

Ya knows I loves me fishin',
Ya knows I loves me boat!
But you're da life preserver,
I needs to stay afloat!

So I got ya sometin really nice,
How much, please don't ass.
But you'll find it a lot easier now,
When ya goes ta cut da grass!

Just pull da cord, stand behind,
Steer her as you go.
Next Valentine's I'll get ya sometin,
Dat helps ya shovel snow!

So keep up da cookin' and cleanin'
You're de only one I got.
To keep me duds all washed and clean,
And me coffee always hot!

You knows dat I appreciates,
Your homemade buns & bread.
And I hope dat it continues on,
Till one of us is dead!

So happy happy Valentines,
And here's your real big treat.
Bring me beer, get over here,
Sit down and rub me feet!

I tinks I need one of dem dare kleenex, after dat!!!

~ Willis


Willis, that is so....uhhhhh....touching!
Just how much more considerate and appreciative can a person get. (Sigh!)

Steve B

So happy happy Valentines,
And here's your real big treat.
Bring me beer, get over here,
Sit down and rub me feet!
Who said romance is dead
I'm so glad there's still some old romantics around

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