Well, howdy there, internet peeps...
It's troy again.
Mothers' day is complete.
Dinner was at a local M&P Italian restaurant. Went there because they have a side room that could hold our 19. Been there twice now, and not impressed with the food either time. This time, wife ordered the lunch portion of the Chicken Parm... What two sides?
Ummm... soup and veggies...
it showed up with NO pasta. Just Chicken, cheese and sauce... person a few seats away ordered the same thing, but with a side of spaghetti, because he'd read close enough to notice it didn't come with pasta.
Conversation was good. Wife just has to worry about planning the family reunion for her side this coming august. I'm in charge of smoking meat for it. Other than that, I'm out of the loop.
My mother made it to Rehab Hospital OK, but...
She's still not doing well. Besides the typical AFIB issues, she'd still having blood in her urine. And just feeling Blah. We'll check on her tomorrow. At least there's a nurse on staff all night, and an aid to help her use the loo, etc.
While we visiting Mom, local sis stopped in. She was pleasant, but is frayed at the edges. About a year ago, she found out her husband was shopping around for casual cannoodling, because she was too wrapped up in Mom, and their two live in grandaughters with psych issues. She and hubby have worked things out, mainly, he had to get sober - but he's still living a state away in KY.
Too many of his old drinking buddies live on the same block near my sis and think "Just one beer won't hurt..."
So my sis is burning the candle at three ends, with a forth end smoldering ready to burst... and Mom had that fall and went to the hospital for the third time in a month.
Unfortunately, I'm starting to hear the dark side of my mother's personality coming out of my sister.... "YOU and your sister NEVER help..." She was threatening to call the other sis, who lives about an hour away from Mom in the other direction from me.
After discussing and calming her down, Sis #1 is frustrated (like mom) because we can't read her mind, don't know her routine and how to do stuff with mom when mom's brain isn't firing on all cylinders. Only about half of her plugs are sparking right now. Sis #1 can interpret that, and know the routines, because she's local. We don't have that knowledge.
So, with my wife along, we diffused situations, reminded her we're doing what we can long-distance, and jumping when she asks for help - but you have to OPEN YOUR MOUTH and ask, not send brain waves. That was how Mom was as we grew up. Always yelling because we couldn't see the X, Y, and Z needed to be done.
Wife and I had a long conversation about the day, and our upbringing on the drive back. In a way, it helped my wife see that her situation with their long-distance sibling (now about 2 hours away) not jumping to help their mom is similar. Neither of the local girls are ASKING other sis to help. Turns out they're actually mad at her because she's always been flighty and withdrawn. They want her making the regular visits, regular calls, etc, just like they do. "Mom won't be here forever, why won't she or her girls visit?"
Because they live 2 hours away. They were the ones behind "Lets get together for Mothers Day" dinner today. BUT none volunteered to plan it.
Well, did you say "GREAT IDEA! Make reservations someplace within 15min of mom's apt, tell us, and we'll meet you there!"
My wife... "Yeah... we should have... but we're local and know which places have the large party rooms... she doesn't know that... and she can't host, that's too far for Mom to travel..."
OK. I'm through unloading. Thanks for listening. I'm glad a bit of enlightenment was had by all parties.... Maybe.... we'll see