Rodney Dangerfield Classics


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Maytag "Danged Agitator"
11. I'm so ugly...My mother had morning sickness ...AFTER I was born.

12. I remember the time that I was kidnapped and they sent a piece of my finger to my father. He said he wanted more proof.

13. Once when I was lost, I saw a policeman, and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, do you think we'll ever find them? He said, I don't know kid. There's so many places they can hide.

14. My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.

15. I'm so ugly...I worked in a pet shop, and people kept asking how big I'd get.

16. I went to see my doctor. Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror...I feel like throwing up; What's wrong with me? He said..I don't know but your eyesight is perfect.

17. I went to the doctor because I'd swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills. My doctor told me to have a few drinks and get some rest.

18. With my old man I got no respect. I asked him, How can I get my kite in the air? He told me to run off a cliff.

19. Some dog I got. We call him Egypt because in every room he leaves a pyramid. His favorite bone is in my arm. Last night he went on the paper four times - three of those times I was reading it.

20. One year they wanted to make me poster boy - for birth control.
 



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