My Mom had another heart attack. She is now in hospice care at the hospital.
Her request is to come to our house for in-home hospice care. We don't know how we will do it but do it we will.
My Mom will have her last request granted.
I've done in-home hospice myself (dad), and anticipate doing it again one more time (for my own mom). There will hopefully be help from hospice people who may sometimes do "house calls," I hope there will not be much if any pain for your mom.
In dad's case he suffered COPD, and the local hospital simply would not release him unless he met a certain relatively low standard for blood-oxygen. This surprised me, particularly as the ICU could administer, at most, just just 15 PSI of additional oxygen, and it was only borderline enough to make the grade. Even then they only let him go after he signed the "I accept that I might suffer organ failure at any time" clause in the release form. Talk about covering their collective a$$es....
As it turned out, in-home hospice was allowed to administer as much oxygen as was needed--four heavy tanks every couple of days, running about 30 PSI in the last day or two.
The other, very helpful thing (the traveling nurses monitored the levels very carefully, to make sure no one else was using it too) was anxiety meds, and eventually morphine for just that purpose. Dad (he had been a Marine First Lieutenant back in Korea) was reluctant to use morphine at first--"morphine is what they give you on a battlefield before you die"--but he finally relented, and it did help keep him calm.
That was administered with a syringe. No need to worry about air-bubbles, just draw it in and then drip it into his mouth below the tongue. Every twelve hours, as I recall it.
Of all of it, the worst was dealing with the commode--well, so what. He required help on and off, and cleaning his backside up afterward was only a small chore--the bigger problem was being available when he needed it done. But things settled down fairly quickly to a daily schedule, so it all worked out as well as could be expected I guess.
I hope your family can find ways to back each other up and cover all the bases for each 24 hour period. If you have even three bodies, it can make it a lot easier (roughly eight hours on call) vs. just two (as with us). If it's just you, then you will need to make major adjustments to your own schedule (particularly work schedule), and even then, it's going to be stressful. There is the real problem if going solo: "caring for the care-givers," and if it goes on for many months, that may prove to be your biggest hurdle. But you have to have some time for just yourself, else it can drive you mad with worry that you will slip up, Yet it can also have such an effect on you that you can feel utterly claustrophobic. Closed in by it all. That's a real problem.
Any in-home meal deliveries you can get will also be a help, and there won't be a real need to watch diets or salt or anything much else, as it's already the end game. I would favor getting for your mom anything she wants, provided you can afford it. Make this last time as happy as it can be for her.
Best of luck to you in this sad time. I'm sure you WILL handle it. You'll surprise yourself/yourselves.
had an Army buddy, from Belfast, who always did the same thing...
yum yum
