Be my friend?

[PNKFLOYD]

There is one thing I can count on from you guys, A big load of crap! Here I've been standing on Main street, waiting for stimulus. Who knew that I could get all the crap I need without politicians?

Corey- After carefully reading and re-reading the past 31 posts, I can see that the CRAP will be a big stimulus in the donkey acronym, without benefit of a personal lubricant.
AIDS, HIV and now CRAP! It may be investigated by the World Health Organization as a potential new world wide health problem. Especially, if doctors and hospitals start accepting half Loonies instead of full Loonies.

I may have to hide out for a few months under an assumed name.
Think UP2CSX might work?
Formerly Mikey

 

[kbkchooch]

Jim, please send me the employment application by whatever means neccessary. I would be honored to serve our country by routing out the New Fake Business trying to defraud this country of its hard earned fake dollars!

Jim
I recieved the employment application, fillid it out(in triplicate) and reported to the Company Doctor for examination. Honestly, the guy's name is Seymour Hynee? I got the giggles so bad when he told me that I almost couldn't stand still for the exam, until he got to that part of the exam.
(me being over 40, you can guess the rest)
Anyway, thats when I had an epiphany. I realized in that instant that CRAP is bi-directional, and where as Undersecretary of New Fake Businesss Names, I not only have to look after new names for CRAP companies that we authorize, but also I have to be on the lookout for fake companies that are trying to siphon off valuable CRAP from us without the proper authorization. Just what are our prosecutorial powers, and can I get on of those tank mounted Tazers to run down these scalliwags?
Hows that for jumping into CRAP head first?
Karl

 

[UP2CSX]

Corey, you can get certain types of stimulus depending on where you hang out on Main
Street but it certainly won't be the type that CRAP will deliver. CRAP will pay you to be stimulated whereas you will have to pay for non-CRAP stimulus. That's certainly your choice but I would try to hold it until the CRAP program reduces all money to fake status. It will then not matter if CRAP is paying you are you are paying someone else - It will all be CRAP.

Mikey, Chris is making you a little too paranoid. There are no health implications to CRAP other than proper disposal. Hospital may certainly decide to treat people that are half loony if they are willing to accept Half-Loonies in payment. Since they will get more Half-Loonies for treating people who are totally loony, I think most hospital will try to maximize their CRAP income. No need to go into hiding, just continue about your daily business as if nothing is happening since no one but the privileged few at the our place know of our plans. UP2CSX would obviously be a poor alias since I expect that name to be famous over the next several months as the person who started the CRAP movement.

The President-Elect just announced a $500 billion infrastructure stimulus plan. This plays right into our hands since our layouts all contain tons of infrastructure and some of it is already CRAP. I will be in contact with the President-Elect to lobby for some infrastructure funds to be transferred to the CRAP program so we can restore some of our sadly deteriorated railroad and municipal facilities. Ray's outhouse is an excellent example of how our infrastructure is already oriented toward CRAP and more CRAP will help improve our facilities even more.

 

[UP2CSX]

Karl, I'm happy to hear all went well the the company doctor. He is quite good at physicals, especially with men over 40, but we must assure that all members of the CRAP team are fully capable of supporting CRAP. I hope the pain gets better in a few days.

All your forms have been received in good order. You are quite correct that CRAP can be used for nefarious purposes and you should be on the lookout for any company trying to pull some CRAP on us. Our enforcement powers are still somewhat loose and poorly formed so I can't give you an answer right now about what we do with fake CRAP companies. Chris will certainly provide you with any tools you need once our situation is firmed up. If you find any egregious examples of such companies, let me know and I'll have Chris take the appropriate action. GM is already not being cooperative with the CRAP diesel model program so there may have to be some changes made at the top to get things moving in the right direction again.

 

[vato loco]

Jim Sir, I have a few PST's talking to the GM Leaders and showing them that not making a deal with us and going with the GOVERNMENT BAILOUT would not be in their better intrest! Talks are still on going though, as for DD they are filling our DoNot's and Coffee orders with out problem! BTW: did you try the Pumpkin Muffins in the breakroom!OMG They are great! ENJOY!

Dude formerly known as MIKEY, Changing your name only increases my intrest in your going on's! But rest assured, If your behavior is good you have nothing to worry about

Karl Glad to welcome you aboard! You need to report to HR office for a debreifing and assignment! Karl, if you see anyone doing bad things to or with CRAP. Do not attempt anything rash, contact Jim or me and we will send PST to solve the Problem Don't want you to get hurt


HR Department Memo!

The Breakroom has been cleaner, But still could be better. As for the trains on the layout..........Detail parts are still being knocked off! Remember I have Eyes every where, so if you don't want to deal with PST.........Be careful, the trains are very important to the CRAP employees!
Other than that, everyone seem happy full of donot's and coffee! I'm in the process of seeing if we can get Outback or Chili's to donate lunch and dinners to the CRAP Office


BTW; Karl, could you talk to the heads of Chili's and/or Outback and see if you can get a cafeteria built in this office building? Thanks Sir, and good hunting! also I would like a slurpy machine too in the breakroom too

 

[vato loco]

PST, MEMO!

No paper work is nessary to the use of the PST, Most of the time we really don't want to know how they handle some problems! also If they have a mission that fails we don't want paper trails that lead back here to CRAP! So Call Jim or Me, and we will send them out!

 

[kbkchooch]

BTW; Karl, could you talk to the heads of Chili's and/or Outback and see if you can get a cafeteria built in this office building? Thanks Sir, and good hunting! also I would like a slurpy machine too in the breakroom too

Chris: I'm still working on Chili's and/or Outback. I did approach a local 711 store owner about a Slurpee machine. I'm not sure if the whole issue had something to do with a language barrier or the fact that he is too timid to even come out from behind the counter,but it looks like a no-go on a genuine Slurpee machine, but don't give up hope yet. I also floated the idea to a local Sheetz store manager, and he said not only would he be happy to supply us with a frozen drink machine. How much space do we have in the breakroom anyway? They also want to supply us with an MTO sandwich grill and a full array of snack foods. He also said he would install fuel pumps in the parking lot if we wanted them. And the best part, he will accept all payments in official CRAP funds! In my wildest dreams I didn't imagine how well Sheetz and CRAP would go well together!

Should I still pursue Chilis and Outback at this point?

Ever in the service of CRAP,
Karl

 

[vato loco]

Chris: I'm still working on Chili's and/or Outback. I did approach a local 711 store owner about a Slurpee machine. I'm not sure if the whole issue had something to do with a language barrier or the fact that he is too timid to even come out from behind the counter,but it looks like a no-go on a genuine Slurpee machine, but don't give up hope yet. I also floated the idea to a local Sheetz store manager, and he said not only would he be happy to supply us with a frozen drink machine. How much space do we have in the breakroom anyway? They also want to supply us with an MTO sandwich grill and a full array of snack foods. He also said he would install fuel pumps in the parking lot if we wanted them. And the best part, he will accept all payments in official CRAP funds! In my wildest dreams I didn't imagine how well Sheetz and CRAP would go well together!

Should I still pursue Chilis and Outback at this point?

Ever in the service of CRAP,
Karl

If we need more room in the breakroom walls will move! as for the chili's or outback? Let's put that up for a vote! I vote for Outback! Love the blooming onion!

You know with all that food we might need a Nap room loaded with lots of lazy boys next to the layout room?

 

[PNKFLOYD]

"Dude formerly known as MIKEY, Changing your name only increases my intrest in your going on's! But rest assured, If your behavior is good you have nothing to worry about."
Oh, great! Not only do I have to keep a lookout for Santa watching to see if I'm naughty or nice, but now Chris is going to be spying on me, too.
Guess I'll hide out as Santa Dude until after the first of the year.


(PSSST, Rex! If I show up at the ARG meet at your house for a couple of hours, will you keep it under your hat? I'm developing a persecution complex. I think.)
Santa Dude

 

[UP2CSX]

Karl, good job, getting Sheetz and CRAP to work so well together. I like the idea of the gas pumps out back since we will soon be buying gas, which CRAP needs in abundance to maintain regularity of operations.

Chris, glad to see you are ready to make any needed modifications in the break room to all the CRAP people happy. We have to be a little careful, though, since we are in leased space and the owners probably don't want CRAP overflowing into the rest of their building. As to Outback vs Chili's, I think we have a problem with Outback, Aren't they owned by Australians or is that fake? If it's not fake, Australia hasn't reached the point where the strains of their economy are bad enough to want a CRAP. Chili's would be fine although I've always disliked their smarmy servers with those little ties. On top of that, I don't think they actually serve chili, something we need to help the CRAP program stay moving. I need to think about this. It seems like Karl has done a good job of giving us more CRAP than I thought so maybe we should hold off for a while.

Mikey, you are still too nervous. Chris has assured me that he's only keeping an eye on you for your own safety. Santa may be another issue depending on whether you've been naughty or nice but you are as safe with Chris watching you as if you were locked in small reading room. For all his bluster, Chris wouldn't hurt a fly...as far as I know.

 

[Secondhandmodeler]

An Outback will certainly increase the amount of crap that's available. The blooming onion also sounds very crappy.

 

[PNKFLOYD]

since we will soon be buying gas, which CRAP needs in abundance to maintain regularity of operations.

I think you have hit on another way we can improve operations. We can provide a "green" spin to our operation's movement by capturing the natural gases our railroaders produce. Fast Acting Rail Technicians will collect this neglected resource in high pressure containers. As soon as out FARTs expell their gases, they will receive CRAP in copious amounts. We can utilize wind power to distribute dollars quickly with a "CRAP hits the fan" program!
I feel there are a few things to work out, but another bureau may be needed to administer this conservative energy source.
Santa Dude

 

[UP2CSX]

Goodness, Santa Mikey, you have certainly been on the thinking seat today. Having been around other model railroaders for years, I think you've struck on a significant issue. The energy products they produce tend to be quite copious and there's a natural connection between the gas production and CRAP. I think we'd have to find some automated way to do the collection though, since the manpower required for manual collection would be prohibitive and not even some of our undocumented workers would apply for that job. We need to get R&D on this right away. If we could power the entire CRAP operation from naturally produced methane gas provided by the very people who are benefiting from CRAP, I can see how we could make some real noise over this issue.

 

[RexHea]

Santa Dude and Chris...uh...Kringle???...hmmmmmm! Sounds like a conspiracy to me.

 

[vato loco]

Santa Dude and Chris...uh...Kringle???...hmmmmmm! Sounds like a conspiracy to me.

Any time my ears hear Green or Save the Earth or Eco Friendly.....My trigger finger itches Yes, that Rex your right that Green stuff is a conspiracy and a con job to say the least!

Jim sir, That Green stuff is a Con Job! Fart is noware as good as CRAP. It's great that the dude formaly known as Mikey, is sorta on board with CRAP but The Green monster of the Left is a Con Job and a ploy of the left used to take out big business We are going to be big business If anything Take the exaust systems off the locomotives! It's your decision over all, Once you let those tofu eating, tree hugging, and wind up car driving people in here. They are harder to get rid of than German Roaches!

We should be burning CLEAN COAL! Being that the Left has banned most Co. from using it means the price of clean coal should come down more than enough to save so much fake cash. We should be able to by all the trains we want. Plus we get tons and tons of train traffic Here! Lets get some steam locomotives and burn clean coal in them! now that sounds fun!

Dude Formaly Known as MIKEY We're watching you! Watching you Closely....................So close we knew what you ate two days ago.......

 

[UP2CSX]

Chris, you need to understand how the government works. Of course the "green' movement is a fake, which is why it fits so well into CRAP. Santa Mikey's proposal for a FART plan will not really make CRAP flow better but the public will think it does. We'll only use a small amount of FART product to produce a big PR return to CRAP. Otherwise, we'll be running everything from those Sheetz provided gas pumps out back while showcasing our one FART powered car. I still think this idea has merit, since we have to appear to be on board with something "green", especially since the President-Elect met with AL Gore yesterday, a clear message the President Elect may try to hijack the FART plan if we don't jump on it first. You have to remember that appearance is the only thing that matters now that you're working for the government.

 

[PNKFLOYD]

Chris, you need to understand how the government works. Of course the "green' movement is a fake, which is why it fits so well into CRAP. Santa Mikey's proposal for a FART plan will not really make CRAP flow better but the public will think it does. We'll only use a small amount of FART product to produce a big PR return to CRAP.

Chris- Have you followed Sir Jim's logic? Of course our "green" program is fake, but a good way to return some CRAP to the government.
I volunteer to drive a second methane powered car if I can be the first old FART to do so. I'll apply for Energy rebates on my tax return. I should not have to declare my CRAP funds as income since it is a loan. If the IRS trys to give me any CRAP for the energy rebates, I'll raise a big stink with the methane car. There is only one offical source for CRAP and you are right in the middle of it!
I'm going to go sit in the corner and try to figure out what I just said!
Santa Mikey Dude

 

[SpaceMouse]

Wife: How was work, dear?

Me: Oh, I caught up on my CRAP.

 

[vato loco]

O.K. If we go with FART then we must also think about doing Carbon Credits for Trains or CCT too! I can clame to plant the Fake trees with my lawn service for a small take of the carbon credits, that way we all win


Why should Al get's all the money, acccording to to O'bama we must take from the rich!

 

[Alcomotive]

Ah yeah that is right REDISTRIBUTION plan for pocket change....cough cough!
Ya think I could get credit for reduction of emissions for riding my Ultra GTXp Shimmano 24 Speed Off Road Mt. Bike????? I am not sure I could get a credit on any of my ALCo locos.....? (see avitar)