Be my friend?

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Good, Rex, I'm glad to see that someone understands this plan has only good intentions and the end results just have to be good...right? Don't forget that Willis will be auditing your bonus and Christmas Party spending so I suggest you use the fake money to make it look like you are having an investors meeting and your bonus is to buy a couple of hybrid cars. :)
 
I under stand tooo! I just want a position on the over sight board to ensure things run like they should. I'm just having trouble Trusting the new Friendly Government!
 
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I'm running out and buying all the Monopoly games I can (MSRP regular game $12.95 at ToysRus), that way I have a vast stockpile of play money for the coming years.;)
As far as Congress and the auto industry, ConAuto? ConFord? ConGM? ConChrysler? ConJeep?
At least now we could call auto salesmen Conmen without risking slander charges!!!:D
 
Chris, you can be the assistant auditor since we do need to keep an eye on Wills, being Canadian and all. :)

KBK, although Monopoly money may seem the same as fake money it's not. You have to get real fake money from the CRAP program, which, although you might think it looks like Monopoly money, has a little hologram in the corner to prevent cheats like you from trying to scam the program. You do sound like the kind of guy I should have on board as Undersecretary of New Fake Business Names though. There are forms to fill out but the salary (in fake money, of course), is excellent. We did try CONRail already and that was a huge success so maybe attaching CON to the front of existing names is the way to go. I don't know, I'm sort of a big picture guy so I need someone else to handle those details.

Andy, as part of our plan, the CRAP program will be sending millions of spam e-mails to Africa telling people they've won the Model Railroad Forums lottery for $1 miliion. We won't tell them it's fake money. All they have to do is send us a small handling and service charge, in real money, and we'll send the the $1 million, in fake money. Since you're my friend, your name and e-mail address will be included for anyone who has questions. I'm sure you'll make many new friends with this program. :D
 
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MR. JIM,
Please rush the CRAP forms to my board of directors immediately. We love to fill out government forms. They are so long and redundant; they really make us feel important and needed.
BTW: We have appointed a special team of experts to explore all MR forums of layouts that may have already succumbed to the financial crunch. The plan is to buy up these layouts at a bargain and then we will have more real things to get fake monies.

Did I mention that we love to fill out forms?
 
Rex, as you might imagine, it takes a while to prepare all the forms we need for such an ambitious program. I have a crack team working on this but they are little irritable since they found out Starbucks is still not on board with the program and wouldn't take their CRAP money.

As an interim measure, we are asking for your 2009 income tax forms, including schedules B, C, D, and E. You must also include a copy of all your checking account statements for 2008 with an itemized list of what every dime was spent on, including track nails and bubble gum. The third part of this simple program is a copy of your family tree from both sides of your family going back to your great-grandparents listing their ages and cause of death. We need to make sure that your family is not so unhealthy that you're likely to keel over before you pay us back for all the fake money we send you.

We feel that these simple measures will be about the same level of difficulty as filling out the real CRAP forms once they are complete. This will give you some practice in filling out forms for no real purpose just so we can get more staff to handle all those forms.

Your cooperation is greatly appreciated. Also, complaining about anything to do with the CRAP program will not be tolerated. My staff told me there was another troublemaker in Alabama, a guy named Tubberville. We had him liquidated yesterday so watch yourself. :)
 
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As soon as I get my breath back from laughing so hard, I'll try to decide if I've been CRAPed upon or the whole thing in a CON JOB! :D

This has been one of the most fun threads I have seen for awhile.

Now, you can all be my fake friends, sending me fake email addresses I can sell to spammers who will send you fake offers for fake male enhancers.:o

To my real friends, I send Warmest Wishes for a Happy Holiday Season!
Mikey
 


UP2CSX said:
KBK, although Monopoly money may seem the same as fake money it's not. You have to get real fake money from the CRAP program, which, although you might think it looks like Monopoly money, has a little hologram in the corner to prevent cheats like you from trying to scam the program. You do sound like the kind of guy I should have on board as Undersecretary of New Fake Business Names though. There are forms to fill out but the salary (in fake money, of course), is excellent. We did try CONRail already and that was a huge success so maybe attaching CON to the front of existing names is the way to go. I don't know, I'm sort of a big picture guy so I need someone else to handle those details.
Click to expand...

Jim, please send me the employment application by whatever means neccessary. I would be honored to serve our country by routing out the New Fake Business trying to defraud this country of its hard earned fake dollars!:D
 
UP2CSX said:
Chris, you can be the assistant auditor since we do need to keep an eye on Wills, being Canadian and all. :)
Click to expand...

Jim as new Assistant Auditor of CRAP Program, I will work hard to keep a close account of our funds and where they go! As for Willis.....Don't worry sir! I'll keep my one good Eye on him at all times:) BTW: Sir, How do yu like your coffee!;)
 
SPAM=Heart attact in a can!That's why My wife took Spam out of my diet! I miss my spam spam drooooooool
 
Chris, I like your attitude. You will make a good toadie...err...assistant.

Mikey, I'm glad you got a laugh out of it but laughing may start to cost you in the future depending on the needs of the CRAP program. :)

KBK, I will forward you the forms as soon as I get my staff some caffeine and they aren't so irritable about the fake money thing. I'm sending agents over to Starbucks now to get them on board with the program before they find their coffee supply can only be bought with Swiss Francs.

As to spam, the fake spam that you can get by e-mail will be available in large quantities and we will keep our servers clean by forwarding it to every CRAP recipient as part of their agreement to accept the fake money. Real Hormel Spam is a bit of a problem since they still want real money. They apparently don't realize that there's a coming crisis in the availability of unidentifiable pork products as meat producers start to get caught in the credit crunch and can't buy pigs because they don't have enough real money. They will then see the benefits of the CRAP program and start begging for fake money before they have to liquidate and cause a worldwide Spam catastrophe. At that point, Spam will be available for fake money but, unfortunately, only in two flavors, Blazing Jalapeño Delight and Vanilla. As part of our program, CRAP participants will have to rationalize their product lines and only having two flavors of Spam will make the product much more profitable. We here at CRAP are experts in such matters.
 
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Well, couldn't Hormel get CRAP from a Pork Barrel and still make SPAM. By the time the CRAP is used up, the farmers will be willing to sell their pigs crap for fake CRAP money and then they can buy fake pigs and receive fake dollars from CRAP. Now we have fake CRAP dollars from the producer to the processor...so how do we get CRAP dollars to the consumer. Will they have and exchange rate at banks?

I'm confused!
 
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Rex, you're still not understanding the mechanics of the plan. Pork from a pork barrel is actually fake money so you can't use if for Spam. We have to convince Hormel and other meat producers that there's going to be a pig shortage so they will get fake money loans from CRAP, which they will then use to buy real pigs from farmers. They will produce Spam (but only those two varieties) and the little people will have to pay real money for it. We'll give the real money back to Hormel and the pig producers, less a small handling fee and service charge, in exchange for more fake money. This will give them enough real money to keep buying pigs but less of them, thereby creating a Spam shortage. The little people will have to pay more real money for Spam, which we will keep giving back, minus the usual charges, in exchange for more fake money. Eventually, Hormel and the pig producers will go bankrupt and have to be nationalized to prevent a catastrophic Spam shortage. At this point, CRAP will step in and save the day at no further cost to the taxpayer, less the usual handling charge and service fee. Since we will control the price of Spam, we'll just keep raising the price until the little people give us all their real money to replace our fake money and everyone will be happy. Well, except for Hormel, the pig producers, and the little people, but they hardly count compared to making the CRAP program a resounding success.

See, it's easy to understand if it's just properly explained to you. :)
 
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Mr. Jim Sir, StarBucks is a no go!:eek: I think they were to high brow for CRAP! But I did talk to Drunkin Do Not's, they were more than happy to get on board! In fact they think they can develop a CRAP brand of Iced Coffee and other fine product's for us!:) That should help with getting the word out on the Crap program! The Coffee is in the break room! yours is on your desk!:D

Sir, I'm a little conserned with Willis........He left his office with 2 suite cases!:confused::( Do you have him on a special mission or shall I have him followed? Also I think Rex, is making CRAP harder than it needs to be with his questions!:mad: I got a team Ready to help him answer his questions on your comand! I'll take care of The missing piece of carpet in the hall way sir!
 
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