What would you do?


josephbw

josephbw

Active Member
As President of our local model railroad club, I have the unenviable task of pointing out a members objectionable body odor. I only see him at operating sessions twice a month. He has been a member for a little over 2 years, and I can remember only one time when he must have bathed within the week. Yesterday at our operating session I almost gagged, it was unbearable.

Has anyone here had to be the one to request that a person clean up once in a while? And if so, how did you go about it. I'm about as tactful as a sledge hammer, so I am basically seeking advice, as I have never had to do this before, and I would like to employ a little tact while dropping the hammer.

Thank you,
Joe
 
OOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHH Gross!

I hate that, I usually tell them I can smell the odor. Either they are too embarrassed and never see them again. Or they take it seriously and never have the problem again.

But ya gotta think they know they smell, if you and others can smell it. Then they just don't care. In that case I avoid em.
 
Discretely, out of earshot of others, or even by telephone if you must, ask him how he is generally? Is he well? Is he taking medication? You ask because his body is giving off an odour that is offensive, and many other members have brought it to your attention. Is there anything you can help with?

Something along those lines. Try not to make it like he must lose face over this. Be gentle, not abrupt or patronizing, but make it clear that the others, and you, object to his body odour. Chances are that he will do something about it. If it persists, simply ask him not to attend, or he'll have to operate by himself.
 
I know someone like that. Fortunately for me its not my place to tell him. I think it's good that you haven't been blunt because that can put someone on the defensive. The advice Selector gave above is the I best why I could think of to handle it. The hard part if you are not a social butterfly type person is not turning it into really awkward moment. It will feel awkward to you, but as long as you keep the conversation focused on concern for him it should go well.


Sent from my XT1080 using Tapatalk
 
That's a sign of disrespect for others when ya don't clean up before a meeting. If he cleans up each morning to go to work and then shows up, unshaven, bad breath and body odor to a weekend session, he thinks less of the RR group than his work environment.
If you or anybody else in the club just can't upright tell him he has pretty bad body odor, then you deserve to have to just marinate in his smell.
 
Model railroading is a tough life. So much freight to move, no time to shower. I swear I feel like I am just going in circles.
 
It might just be him. A close friend of mine can take a shower and within the hour smell like an old wet dog. I busted his balls about it once and taped a car air freshener to his back. It was a good laugh but he smelled like pine trees and dirty ass. lol
 
The guy I know has mental issues and I honestly don't think he can smell so he doesn't recognize it as a problem. When someone is functional then hopefully they realize they have a problem.

Sent from my XT1080 using Tapatalk
 
Pay attention to what Crandall/Selector said. Some people have a medical condition that actually causes this (you can probably find more at the Mayo Clinic website or at WebMD), so don't assume he's not showering or cleaning up. (Or there may be a mental health problem -- depression, for instance.) Like Crandall says, treat the situation with compassion and in private. Based on how he responds, you can then figure out what the next step might be.
 
Thanks guys, there's some excellent advice here. I won't see him again until the first of next month, so I have time to plan what I will say to him. I really think it's just poor hygiene on his part. He has a scraggly beard and wears the same size pants that he had when he was in high school, but his gut looks like he is 12 months pregnant. I'll figure it out and try to be as sympathetic to him as I can.

Thanks again,
Joe
 
If I wanted to be really subtle, and you were the one that had the offensive odour, I would run a long string of these boxcars past you in the operating session.

Boxcar.jpg

Seriously, I agree with the others - possible medical condition. And even if it's not, that's a great approach.
 
I don't know what your schedule allows and what contact information you have for the individual, and I realize it might take you way out of your comfort zone, but would it perhaps be an option to call him up and go out for coffee some Saturday morning to talk about this rather than taking him aside at the meeting? Perhaps this really doesn't work in the specific situation, but if there's some way similar to approach it so as to further respect his privacy perhaps that would be helpful.
 
I have a few possible hints for him, what do you think.

Hey ...... that's some pretty powerful cologne you have on, what's it called Ode de dead cat?

........ Have you checked under the seat of your car for moldy food, dead animals, or buffalo poop?

hey ... check your shoes, I think you stepped in something.

Any others?
 
josephbw said:
Thanks guys, there's some excellent advice here. I won't see him again until the first of next month, so I have time to plan what I will say to him. I really think it's just poor hygiene on his part. He has a scraggly beard and wears the same size pants that he had when he was in high school, but his gut looks like he is 12 months pregnant. I'll figure it out and try to be as sympathetic to him as I can.

Thanks again,
Joe
Click to expand...

I think there's one in every club, I know of one in each of my 2. Fortunately neither attends very much. The softly, softly approach should be tried first, if no notice is taken, then the smack in the face type is needed. If HE gets offended and doesn't return, count the exercise a success.
 
Actually, I would think that he might not know how bad he smells. He might be lax on the personal hygiene when doing other than work stuff and may not know how bad it really is. He may be thankful that someone told him
I have a friend who sells on occasion at train shows. At one show, I found him at his table and first words out of his mouth almost knocked me over with a sewer type smell. I offered him a breath mint. He said, "No thanks". I said, "No, I insist". Suddenly he realized what I was getting at and took the whole role of Wintergreens.
On the other side of it, if he gets offended and leaves the club, the problem is solved that way too. I couldn't imagine someone insisting that everybody put up with their offensive body odor, but then, there are some who just might be that way.
 
So much depends on personality.

There's a lot to be said for Making contact outside of the club, one on one, that way, if he's offended, it can be at you alone, not the whole club. You could just gently bring up the idea that "it had been brought to my attention" that there seems to be a problem with BO or hygiene. If he gets mad at you, accept that you're taking one for the club.


Sent from my Vic20 using Java Moose
 
You must log in or register to reply here.



Back
Top