problems in train clubs


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legsbluetrain

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I left a model railroad club in Sept 07 because I had problems with one of the people in it.He would boss me around,tell me what to do with my own stuff and money,and I think he just has something against me.He has tried to have too much control over me and I haven't done anything to him.I feel like I have been done worse than anyone in that club.I'm a nice person and I don't cause problems with people,but he creates problems and acts like I have the problems and it's him all along.To make matters worse,it was the guy over the club that gave me the problems.This hobby ahould be fun and relaxing,not stressful.When I left that club,I was not as stressed as I was when I was in.I'm doing this to raise awareness of problems in train clubs and I'm here to help.
 
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There were a couple of times the guy over the club got physical with me and it was on my mind to get on my cell phone and call the police.I just basically saved him from being arrested when I left the club.
 
That sounds like a bad situation. It is unfortunate that the club's executives didn't step in to deal with the situation. Sounds like you're getting the bad deal and this other person should be kicked out. I know the executive committee in my club would deal with a situation like that quickly.

It's sad, but every bunch has a few bad apples in it. I hope there is a different club in your area you can check out. Try not to hold that experience against other clubs.
 
legsbluetrain: May I ask if you are an adult? I ask because I personally cannot see another adult treating you the way you've stated - "boss me around", etc.

Most people wouldn't stand for it, or at a bare minimum speak to club officials about the situation. No one should make you leave a club if things are as you say.
 
I have belonged to many clubs and associations. I have found no matter where you go you will find a few people who think that they are the club and it's their way and no one's opinion matters . I personally think if you confront the person right off the bat and tell him you are not going to take any BS. they usually will back off. In the case that they don't I don't belong there anymore.
 
The problem I've found is that all volunteer organizations need strong but fair leaders to function well. If there's a power vacuum, someone will step in to fill it and it's almost always the exact opposite of the type of person you need. Chalk it up to experience but remember the feeling you got in that club. You can feel it almost as soon as you walk in the door in badly run clubs. Run, don't walk, to get out of there.
 
My father had a similar problem with a local club many years ago. A lot has to do with egos and "I know better than you". My father was voted president and another member obviously wanted it more than him, causing lots of problems. My dad ended up finding a better group of guys and moved on - sometimes that's the least stressful way to do it.

As for the OP's age, the reality is you don't need to be a kid to get bossed around. I'm nearly 40 and get "bossed around" by an older "I know better" at work - thankfully he just retired. It happens - the boss-ee just needs to be the bigger person. :)

As for clubs, either the club should be small with just good friends hanging out. Or, if the membership is open to all, there should be a board with a fair cross section of membership to settle issues like this. It sounds complicated but really isn't.

Mark
 
one detail

1 detail I want to tell is the guy over the club had problems with me personally.He has gotten so personal to where he started invading into my personal business such as my habits of spending money,making issues of my other hobbies that's not related to railroads,making issues about how my equipment is,issues,issues,issues,& more issues.Basically if it's not the way he wants it to be,he has a problem with it.He has embarrassed me in public by making me do things I don' t normally do such as making me speak to other customers in Walmart and it's the greeter's job to do that and then telling the people I'm shy & I felt like I was forced to speak to the other people.He just has a bad attitude.Sometimes he'll say he doesn't know what he's done to me & a few minutes later he bullies me again.
 
chasing the model train with a video camera

He even had an issue with me chasing the train with a camcorder at one show.He should've left that alone and let me record.If that were a member of the public chasing the train with a camcorder,he would have been nice to them and let them record.He just has issues with whatever I do.
 
This sounds a bit strange, I've been in the Kansas City Model RR club sence 1975, never has a snake, like you talked about reared it's ugly head, this borders on bazar! is there no pres. or vice, or any kind of authority in your club? anyway sounds like you have made the right dissision, and moved on!!
JR
 
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