does everyone just use 2 engines to pull their longer trains to put less stress on the engines ?
mike
I think it isn't so much a case of putting less stress on an engine as it is tractive effort. Most (unless grossly overloaded or have traction tires) HO model locomotives will slip their wheels under an "excessive" load, whether that load is from having too many cars or a steep grade. This is also what happens with the prototype. For most of us having too many cars is less of a problem with most of us than pulling trains up steep grades, as our layouts aren't big enough to allow long, long trains. My layout fills a 14 x 14' room around the walls and with a pennisula. My longest trains are usually passengers, with some old aluminum cars mixed with Athearn passenger cars. I can get a single Proto2000 E-unit to pull six cars up a 3 percent grade, but anything longer doesn't fit my passenger terminals. Nonetheless, I run a pair of powered E's because it looks better and does make it easier to pull the ruling grade.
On freight trains, I can run just about any train that is a reasonable length can be handled by a pair of powered F's, a pair of powered Geeps or a single SD7 (Athearn blue box). But I generally run a dummy third F, just because it looks right, and doesn't take much room (about one 40-50 ft. boxcar worth) in the train.
It is easy to get DCC locomotives to run at the same speed. All you do is program the speed CV's until they run at the same rate (you can eyeball this by running them with a little space between them and see if one leads or lags the other. A Proto2000 F7A/B set I have runs fine with each other with no changes to the CV required. They were sold as a set, so may have been matched by the factory.
With DC it can be a little more difficult. Similar models
should run at the same speed with the same throttle setting, but differences in motors, gear wear, etc., can make that problematic. I have quite a few older Athearn F's that I just kept swapping chasis until I got pairs that run together.
So far as steam locos are concerned, I've had very few problems with having to double-head even up a 3 percent grade with practicable-length freight or passenger trains. I have pairs of kitbashed 2-10-2's and 2-10-4's which are DC only, and have had their motors replaced with Canon coreless motors, which I've double-headed on modular layouts that pulled dozens of cars in a single train. But this was more for show than necessity.
It takes more traction to start a train or go up a grade than it does while rolling. This was where the diesels have the advantage over most steam locos on the prototype. But with electric train locos, it's closer (except for the diameter of the drivers on steamers vs. the smaller diameter on "diesels."