I'll say, the offending item is no longer there.
Just have to post this:
A first grade teacher explains to her class that she is an Auburn fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they are Auburn fans too.
Not really knowing what an Auburn fan was, but wanting to be liked by their teacher, their hands flew into the air. There is, however, one exception.
Susie has not gone along with the crowd.
The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. “Because I’m not an Auburn fan”, she reports.
“Then,” ask the teacher, “What are you?”
“I’m an Alabama fan” boasts the little girl.
The teacher asks Susie why she is an Alabama fan.
“Well, my Dad and Mom are Alabama fans, so I’m an Alabama fan too”, she responds.
“That’s no reason,” the teacher says. “What if your mom was a moron and your dad was an idiot. What would you be then?”, the teacher asks.
Susie smiles and says, “Then I’d be an Auburn fan.”
"ROLL TIDE ROLL"
Ok I got one for ya a buddy sent this to me. Enjoy!!
BEST diet story ever!!
I was in Walmart buying a large bag of Purina for my dog and was in line
to check out. A woman behind me asked me if I had a dog...
(DUHHHH)
I was feeling a bit crabby so on impulse, I told her NO and that I was
starting The Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I
ended up in the hospital the last time.
BUT, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care unit with
tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IV's in both arms.
Her eyes about bugged out of her head.
I went on and on with the bogus diet story and she was totally buying
it. I told her that it was an easy, inexpensive diet and that the way it
works is to load your pockets or purse with Purina nuggets and simply
eat one or two every time you feel hungry .
The package said the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to
try it again. (I have to mention here that practically everyone in the
line was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy
behind her.)
Horrified, she asked if something in the dog food had poisoned me and
was that why I ended up in the hospital.
I said, Oh NO!, I'd just been sitting in the middle of the street
licking my butt when a car hit me.
I thought the tall guy in back of the line was going to have to be
carried out.