Hi Eddie and first let me welcome you to the forum.
You are quite right in that derails and uncoupling problems can ruin your fun and desire to use smaller scale modeling. I had a layout in the late 60's that beside cleaning the brass rails constantly, gave me nothing but headaches. This time around, I swore never to take shortcuts on track installations.
I am not sure when you tried HO, but with the new Code 83, nickel-silver track, cleaning is just routine maintenance. Using flex type track will decrease the number of joints, insuring better continuity and fewer potential problems. New coupler design makes it easy to use a bamboo skewer for uncoupling or you can use magnet type uncouplers for those hard-to-reach areas.
The main thing is to make sure that each joint is well fitted with no kinks. Now, some people have different ideas as to what a kink is, but if you look at the joint and it is not perfectly straight, then you have a kink. The rails don't have to touch each other, but they must be in-line...particularly in the curves. You can also use your finger nail and feel for rough edges top and side of rails. I like to use the end of a 1/2" file to align the joint rail-to-rail and then solder. This will ensure it will remain in position.
My firm belief is you must get your track right before doing anything else on your layout. Once you have done this, you will experience many hours of problem free running. It's not hard, but just takes a little extra TLC.
There are some tricks here and there and if you choose HO, I am sure many of us will be glad to assist you.
EDIT: I should have added that the bench work plays an important role in how well your track stays put. Depending on your layout area, the environmental conditions of hot/cold and humid/dry can cause changes in the track that could cause problems. By using quality lumber and materials, proper support and fasteners, you can minimize these effects.